They may not quite understand your hobbies, say your flair for fashion or your love for ACDC, or whatever it is that you are into! They should notice when there is something different about you! Having lots of expectations in relationships without appreciation is a recipe for disaster. For example, a man expects his wife to take care of the house and chores the same way his mother did. Don’t expect bells, whistles, flowers, grand apologies, and flash mob proposals. Talk about what you expect from them, and ask what they expect from you. When it comes to this one, it’s a good idea to talk to your partner about what you both consider to be reasonable when it comes to time. Taking care of the home is a team job, it’s important both partners help each other in these duties, but hiring a maid, nanny, or even getting help from other family members is okay. Everyone deserves a happy relationship, one that is healthy. That’s the part that can get tricky. 1. If you expect your partner to shout their love from the rooftops or go above and beyond to impress you, you will feel disappointed and they will feel pressured. Your partner should be someone who makes you happy, but they should not be the sole source of your happiness. To conclude, setting unrealistic expectations on your relationship can only lead to frustration and disappointment. Nothing can make the butterflies in your stomach flutter a little harder than being looked in the eye and being told, “You are the best thing that happened to me. Overdoing anything ruins the charm and the appeal. Have you ever been disappointed because something did not turn out the way you expected? And most of that work will be on yourself. Spending time together deepens the friendship between the two of you. You can’t expect perfection, but you can expect respect. However, these are subjective terms. There is always room for some light-hearted fun! You do not want to get to a point where the problems are beyond repair. And, I am not kiddin’! If you want a successful relationship, you have to work for it the same way you work for everything else in your life. It’s not fair to put unachievable standards on your partner or vice versa. You both are also expected to engage in a give-and-take when it comes to helping and being helped. Just because it’s not the extravagant gift or idea you had in mind, doesn’t mean they didn’t put any thought into it. We are taught – explicitly and implicitly – that there are standards of behaviors, what we call the norms, when it comes to how we should treat each other. When you can do that, you can create the relationship you want. Once these expectations are brought out into the open and made clear through respectful discussion, it should lead to fewer disappointments. When you begin thinking of things they should do for you and it’s not done, you are left with disappointment. That is what a relationship is all about, right? It is absolutely unfair and unrealistic. Learn more. 7. ), or going out for a stroll or a drive, that does not sound pocket-pinching! Knowing how to handle conflicts with each other is not an overnight success. William Shakespeare once said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.”. It’s reasonable to expect that your relationship will face challenges and as a result of facing and overcoming those challenges, that both your relationship and each of you will grow. 8. Compromise will make for a much happier and longer-lasting relationship than thinking you’ll find someone who will be a clone of yourself. However, it’s okay to ask for help. Some of those challenges will be things like dramatically different opinions on things like politics, religion or parenting. Especially, when that someone is your partner! 2. From such extremes, you need to manage your expectations with your partner to ensure that your relationship remains healthy. Some of those challenges will be things like the loss of a child, infidelity, or catastrophic injury. Those things happen, sure, but they’re not the norm. This one is a bit tricky, because a relationship can make you unhappy if it’s abusive or filled with infidelity or lies. I’ve seen couples who think that just because they are married problems will fix themselves. Unfortunately, love and relationships are areas where people tend to think in glamorous, romanticized ways that do not reflect reality well. Because it is the little things that make the big difference. Why did you have such a strong belief something would happen? We can’t force ourselves to feel more or less, and we shouldn’t be expected to pretend just to make someone else more comfortable. Some of the best and most successful relationships started slowly and with little to no expectation. In the end both parties are affected; resentment, anger, and disappointment can develop towards each other. It is an irreplaceable ingredient on our list. You may disagree on career paths and choices, major purchases, religion, politics, and more. Schedule your appointment now, Symmetry Counseling is still operating at full capacity for existing and new clients through, ©2020 Symmetry Counseling. It is not relationships that are difficult but people themselves who complicate things. They involve so many decisions and usually, we make those decisions in the spur of the moment, without realizing the consequences thereof. Psych Central does not provide medical or psychological Isn’t It Time You Started Building A More Positive Future? It can get the best of us at any given moment. Honesty builds intimacy. And perhaps most of all, we have a ton of expectations about them. Let’s take a look at eight relationship expectations. Both partners have to work harder to keep it. You should be happy within yourself, without any input from anything external — a happiness that isn’t based on relationships, jobs, family, where you live, or what you own. Lastly, setting high expectations on yourself is the worst of them all. Life isn’t a Disney or a Hallmark movie. Choose someone who challenges you. Before reacting about what you perceive to be unreasonable expectations of you, consider communicating first with your friend or partner. Happiness from your partner or relationship should be the cherry on top of that. Lattrell (my boyfriend) and I always refer to our relationship as a team. That the relationship won’t feel posed, stilted, or fake. They must acknowledge the little things! When we often feel let down by the people in our lives – that is, if we are always disappointed by others – maybe it’s time to ask ourselves: are we being reasonable? Honesty also allows us to live in reality, instead of fantasy. When you involve happiness in your bond, you will have no space to let resentment grow. Choose someone who calls you on your bullshit. It’s the little things that truly count – the word of encouragement before the big job interview, the morning forehead kiss, the look you give each other when no one else understands your inside joke. Unfortunately, love and relationships are areas where people tend to think in glamorous, romanticized ways that do not reflect reality well. Eventually, you and your partner will be able to handle and resolve conflict maturely. You still have to work for it. They make time to chill with your friends! piece, because no one on this planet finds it difficult to expect too much out of a relationship! We analyze and agonize over them. Love and be loved, people!
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